It was in a conversation with a client that I was reminded that self-harm is more than the extremes that we hear of with people who have mental health issues, or addictions of some sort. Self harm is actually anything that is not being loving to yourself.

Self harm is described in the dictionary as ‘the intentional, direct injuring of body tissue, done without suicidal intentions,’ however I feel that this is only a limited view of what self harm really is and I feel that sometimes we do it subconsciously because of the place we are in emotionally at the time.

For example, going out with your mates for a few beers, maybe self love if you have a couple of drinks and a nice time but becomes self-harm when you drink too much.

Going to bed before 11pm could be considered as self love (depending on what time you need to get up of course! ) where as staying up later than that may be self harm as it can lead to you being over tired and that then may have an affect your immune system.

Ensuring that you have a proper lunch break would be considered as self love where as working through your lunch break all the time would be self harm.

I’m sure that you will be able to think of many other examples. What I feel is key with this though is actually asking yourself when you are about to chomp into your third biscuit if that is self love or self harm!

As we open our hearts and connect with the infinite energies of divine love we need to learn to be more loving to ourselves. When we feel starved of love it is usually because we aren’t truly loving ourselves and so the energy that we put out is of one of not being lovable and so we draw in a lack of love.

When we make a mistake we need to learn to not be hard on ourselves and see the ‘mistake’ as a learning experience that will allow us growth as a person and a spiritual being rather than something that we have done wrong. We also need to learn to look at different scenarios and relationships and ask ourselves why we drew them in and what we need to learn from them in order to be more loving towards ourselves.

When we learn to love unconditionally we become much more compassionate and when you are more loving and compassionate you are able to let go of the emotion and see that everything simply is.

I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and happens to teach us to reconnect with the love within and be more loving towards ourselves. We cannot truly love others if we don’t love ourselves.

When you are loving towards yourself you will find others being more loving towards you. We need to be the change that we want to see in our lives.

As you move through your day, take a moment to see how loving you are being towards yourself and if you aren’t being as loving as you might be, look at what you can change.

If we are to create a more peaceful loving world then we need to start on our own doorstop and learn to be more loving towards ourselves so that we can create a more loving, peaceful life. The more people that do this the greater it effect it will have on the world around us.

Creating a more love filled life starts by reconnecting with the divine love within, through the heart centre and being more loving to ourselves. The more that we open our hearts the more of the infinite supply of the energy of love we can connect with. The more that we learn to love ourselves unconditionally, the more unconditional love we are able to radiate out to those around us.

So remember to check in on the way that you are treating yourself. Is it self- love or self-harm and then make the changes necessary to enable you to be more loving to yourself.