One of the things that has become very apparent to me as Cosmic Heart continues to evolve is that grief has many guises and can be stored very deep in the energy system and create lots of issues.
I feel that stored grief can lead to many different forms of ‘dis-ease’ not just mental health issues but physical ones as well and may be the root cause of many physical diseases. I also feel that some mental health issues, and in particular depression are actually caused by suppressed grief from many many lifetimes.
When people say they are grieving our immediate thoughts are probably of them having lost someone through death as that is often when most people experience intense grief, but there are many other circumstances that can lead to loss which will create grief. For example, the loss of a home through repossession, the loss of a job through redundancy, children leaving home, a loved one moving away, a relationship breakdown, the loss of a pet.
Grief may also relate to a disaster/drama of some kind which of course can lead to loss and it may also be caused by someone else. We talk about ‘ he gave me grief over my mistake ‘ or ‘she came to grief’.
Probably the most well-known description of the stages of grief are by Elizabeth Kugler-Ross where she describes five stages which include denial, anger, bargaining, depression ( sadness) and acceptance. Those who say there are seven stages include shock as the first stage and testing prior to acceptance.
Loss, in whatever form it takes, is really a form of pain which occurs because we have become so attached to everything and everyone in an unhealthy way. Pain is something that we as humans often push down inside us and whilst we go through the stages of grief, from the work I am doing now, I feel that what actually happens is that a lot of it is pushed down deep into the energy system and is not actually released properly. We attach ourselves in a negative way to things because we have not only a fear of loss but a fear of change as well.
I have been working with a client who lost someone very close to her about 9 or 10 years ago. She had progressed with the treatments she had been having with me and then suddenly felt overwhelmed with everything going on around her, causing her to go into a depressed state again. She felt as if she had gone back several years with how she was feeling. It became apparent to me that something recent had triggered the grief for her loved one, causing it to come to the surface . She told me that she had worked on it and accepted things but when we discussed it further she realised that she hadn’t she had just buried the emotions because there were other factors involved relating to the person’s extended family that had never been resolved. We are now working on this to clear the issues that have surfaced.
I have also recently been working with someone whose wife died of cancer a couple of years ago, leaving him with two teenage children to bring up. My client and his wife worked together within hospitality in a role that was for a couple and that included accommodation. His employer gave him notice to quit not long after his wife died and he had to not only deal with the loss of his wife but also find somewhere to live and a new job so that he could look after his children. He came to me with severe anxiety and panic attacks which I knew immediately was down to him not being given time to grieve for his wife, let alone the loss of his job and home and everything that went with all of that. Within a short period of time he is in a much better place. There is still work to be done but he is on a much happier path now and coping with life again
Its interesting to watch peoples reactions to things that create loss. Often they scream and shout at others demanding that things stay as they are. They do this as they have become too attached to the outcome and are actually moving through stages of grief because of the fear of the loss of what they know and are comfortable with. They fear change and are looking at the negative possibilities instead of the opportunities that are being presented to them.
Often situations, connections with people, things we see or experience trigger reactions in us which indicate that there is pain and grief that was buried and has now surfaced and needs to be healed. If the reaction is really intense then there will be one or more past life connections that need to be healed as well. People look outside of themselves, blaming everyone else for the issues, instead of going inward and asking themselves what the real problem is. What it is that is making them feel frightened and uncomfortable by the situation.
When you are caused grief by someone else it may be that they caused pain and some kind of loss either in this life or a past life which needs to be healed. It may also be that they are causing you grief because they want you to change and you are resisting. For example, a manager at work pushing you to change your way of working as he/she believes it will benefit the team and you interpret the situation as the manager wanting to change you rather than your working practices.
So from the experiences I have had myself and the healing work that I now facilitate for people I feel that grief is a way of pushing the pain of separation /change out of the way and that where there is intense grief there is a lot of attachment to the situation or person.
It was interesting when my beautiful Westie passed away recently … I of course went though the stages of grief but quite rapidly. I was asked at the pet cemetary of I wanted a lock of hair to keep and I said no as whilst I loved him very much I wasn’t attached to him. I have scattered his ashes in a favourite place of his for walks and I have let go of any negative attachment because I know that he is ok and being looked after. I put a notification on my facebook page as many of you have met Jester at some point or another and it was lovely to have all the comments but it was also very obvious to me who has a lot of grief that they still haven’t dealt with. Clearly my comments about losing Jess triggered issues in others that they need to address.
The loss of Jester also triggered the release of grief deep in me that I had pushed away both in this life time and others. His passing lifted this to the surface for me so that I could release it properly. I am very grateful to him for helping me with my healing journey in this way.
We have got so used to looking outside of ourselves for the answers, because we have become so shut off from our hearts and the true connection with our Soul. Yet when you go inward all the answers and the tools you need are there if you are willing to look and ask.
People have a tendency to look at the destination instead of the journey and this of course creates yet more attachment. We are on a healing journey on Earth and we all have a lot to heal but we won’t achieve that unless we go within ourselves and address the issues that we have been carrying for thousands of years.
When you can detach yourself from a painful situation or loss by healing it on a deep level so that the energies of it are cleared, you can allow change to come in. When you trust that the universe has your back and will provide you with what you need you have no need for attachment either to others or to material things.
We each have everything we need to become Sovereign Beings, free from attachment, so stepping into our own power and taking complete control and responsibility for our own life. Its about listening to our heart and being true to ourselves, forming our own beliefs and not just following others. Its about doing what feels right for ourselves, by empowering ourselves to be our greatest self so that everything we do is for the greatest good of all, but to do this we must heal.
And of course its about remembering that only love is real and only love heals and that everything else is illusion! We come from love and are on a journey back to being pure love once more. Enjoy the ride and take the time to stop and reconnect with your heart and Soul and heal the pain and grief that you have stored within so that you can find your true self once again and the joy and love that is there, waiting to allow you to love yourself once more.
