I’ve had some interesting conversations with people recently about how they have cleared out all the negative people in their lives, but what they haven’t realised is that unless they heal those relationships they will draw more similar people in. As I explained in last months newsletter the universe provides us with a mirror and each person that crosses our path will reflect parts of us that we really like and parts of us that we really dislike.

When we see something in someone that we dislike we need to go inward and see if it is a trait in ourselves that needs to be healed. This is where we need to be really honest with ourselves about what is being reflected back to us. If we are sure it isn’t something in ourself then we may need to look at whether there is a link to a family member that we dont get on with.

I realised sometime back that I when I was younger I was drawing in people with similar traits to my mother. At the time I didn’t understand that it was the relationship with my mother that needed healing but as my knowledge and understanding has grown and I have worked on myself I came to realise that one of the most important relationships for me to heal was the one I had with my mother.

Most people’s family units are dysfunctional. This is because these relationships need to be healed on a deep level. We will have reincarnated with family members many times before in different scenarios and relationships but with the same or similar lessons to experience. This can create a lot of negativity between people and create ingrained belief systems and so a lot of conflict. Where there are a lot of issues between people there will be lot of negativity relating to many many lives that they will have had together that need to be cleared.

What you see in the physical world around you is just the tip of the iceberg. When I am helping people to heal relationships with others I often see a lot of negative energy entwining them, like tangled spaghetti. This will have come from many lifetimes of being together with trauma and drama creating negative connections. I also understand now how pieces of heart and soul can be fragmented and left behind at the trauma site or even taken by others.

I now understand that people in abusive relationships struggle with taking themselves out of the situation because the energies pull them back. Often there are vows and contracts between the people affecting what they are doing as well and stopping them from moving forward.

When you take the time to heal relationships on a deep level you find that you gain great insight into yourself and clarity about what you want from that relationship. Forgiveness is of course key in helping you to release the negativity binding you, but gratitude too as those who irritate us the most are out greatest teachers as they are reflecting back to us what we need to heal.

When you heal a relationship you are able to make choices about the way forward from a place of love and compassion rather than a place of anger and pain. You can see much more clearly what needs to happen for both of you to grow and progress.

When the emotion is taken out of the situation it is much easier to view the bigger picture and do what feels right and will make you happy. Sometimes working from compassion means being willing to stand your ground over something and saying ‘no’, so allowing the other person to deal with their issues themselves. Often healing relationships is about empowering people to be able to do what feels right for them to do.

When I work with someone who has had several relationships with people where there has been a lot of problems I will ask them if these people have traits of one or other or even both of their parents, or a sibling. More often than not there is a light bulb moment where they then realise that the real issue is the relationship with their mother or father or maybe a sibling. We often draw in partners with similar traits to our family members because this is what needs healing.

Healing these relationships then shifts the energies so that you draw in different people who are resonating on the level that you have moved to.

Opening the heart centre and working from love and compassion is key as we all move forward because it is only love that is real and only love that heals.

If you would like more information about healing toxic relationships please click herehttps://peaceful-living.co.uk/clearing-toxic-relationships/